Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged (Col. 3:18-21).

The Bible has a lot to say about how husbands and wives are to love each other before it speaks to how we should parent. The implicit message – a healthy marriage is the foundation of biblical parenting. 

A healthy marriage supplies the spiritual support that each parent needs to provide the nurture and discipline a child needs. A wife doesn’t fail to discipline because she’s needing a child to supply the love her husband won’t. A husband doesn’t over discipline to prove he is the man his wife will not acknowledge.

If the marriage is as God intended, neither parent feels solely responsible or to blame for difficult decisions. If the two are really one before God, then there is a united front in dealing with a child’s rebellion, depression, or faith struggle. 

Biblical marriages are the sacred soil in which God matures healthy children. We cultivate such marriages to honor the Lord, knowing he intends to use godly unions to bless us and our children.  

This doesn’t mean that a less-than-ideal marriage cannot produce godly children. No marriage is perfect, and God provides grace for all kinds of homes. But if you are wondering what is the best gift that you can give your children for their long-term health of mind and heart, the biblical answer is: love your spouse as God loves you.

Prayer:
Heavenly Father, help me to love my spouse as you have loved me, and use our support of one another to be a firm foundation for the spiritual nurture of our children.