For decades, Covenant Theological Seminary has viewed theological education holistically and committed itself to preparing students for “a lifetime of ministry.” As a former pastor now leading the seminary, I have seen too many ministries end because a marriage fails. Couples in ministry need help and support to keep their marriage healthy while experiencing the ups and downs of serving the Lord in vocational ministry.
Justin Smith offers a resource that might help couples in his newly-published “Together for Good: A Couple’s Guide to Thriving in Christian Ministry” (P&R Publishing, 2026).
Smith and his wife have worked overseas for over 20 years, helping found an international church and training future ministry leaders. Drawing on his extensive ministry experience, Smith writes candidly about the common challenges that accompany pastoral ministry for pastors and their spouses.
When pastors and their spouses first launch into ministry, Smith compares it to an exciting hiking trip he and his wife once took into the wilderness of the Grand Canyon, only to discover that they were woefully “unprepared and alone.” He writes, “The unfiltered reality is that Christian ministry can be hard.” These difficulties, however, should not cause couples to retreat, but to discover the “way forward.”
In Smith’s words, “Adventurers know that the risk of going in is worth the reward. It’s in the struggle where we will find that God has given us the resources in himself, in one another, and in the church so that ministry together can become the adventure of a lifetime.”
Overall, Smith succeeds in offering accessible, biblically-grounded encouragement for ministry couples, though his work could benefit from deeper engagement with contemporary pastoral scholarship.
Written with workbook elements, “Together for Good” takes the reader through seven sessions rather than traditional chapters. Each session identifies common challenges ministry couples experience and offers practical pastoral guidance. Of particular benefit are the “conversation starters,” discussion questions, and sample prayers designed to foster ongoing dialogue between spouses and small groups.
The first session surveys 13 “stressors and pressures” that raise awareness of how ministry impacts marriage. These include continual urgency, inability to solve every problem, perceived lack of accomplishment, criticism and conflict, unrealistic expectations, pressure to be an example, blurred boundaries between home and church, limited resources, confidentiality burdens, compassion fatigue, isolation, lack of standing, and lack of accountability.
As an experienced pastor, I can attest to the prevalence and difficulty of criticism and conflict. Smith insightfully observes that because a minister’s professional and private lives are intertwined, criticism quickly becomes personal. Echoing the Apostle Paul’s exhortation in 2 Corinthians 12:9-10, session 2 takes the reader through an important discussion of how and why God uses our weakness as essential to his ministry plan. Smith notes, “What incredible news!” God does not call pastors and their spouses to self-sufficiency but to gospel dependence in recognition that our strength is born of God’s power displayed through weakness.
Sessions 3-6 focus on cultivating resilience. Session 3 provides diagnostic questions addressing internal and external warning signs, identifying 12 “red flags” that warrant periodic reflection. Session 4 emphasizes personal renewal and spiritual community, arguing that voluntary rejection of community is spiritually self-destructive.
Session 5 turns to the marriage bond itself, introducing the concept of “incarnational care”— being intentionally “for” one’s spouse through daily, ordinary acts of kindness rather than sporadic heroic gestures. This care is most crucial when one spouse is suffering and the other must slow down rather than sprint ahead. Session 6 returns to the importance of communities of accountability. Smith notes, “Satan’s strategy has long been to isolate his victims from godly community, adding to their vulnerability by removing them from those who can help.” How important, then, it is for pastors and spouses to cultivate transparent friendships, relationships with other ministry couples, and trusted church members.
The final session calls couples to concentrate, calibrate, and escalate. By “concentrate,” Smith calls us to prioritize ministry activity on “what matters most.” Calibration is about aligning the marriage bond to ministry activity in terms of roles and expectations. To “escalate” involves recognizing that ministry problems often exceed a couple’s “authority or resources.” Ministerial health requires that pastors and their spouses maintain appropriate boundaries with those under their care, remembering that there are some things only Christ, our Chief Shepherd, can accomplish through the power of the Holy Spirit. Couples, then, must resist the “hero mentality” and mortify the temptation that invites us to believe that we can “save” every situation.
A notable feature of the book is the inclusion of three historical case studies: Molly and John Wesley, Susannah and Charles Spurgeon, and Dorothy and William Carey. These biographical vignettes demonstrate that even prominent ministry figures were not immune to marital strain. Wesley’s marriage, in particular, serves as a sobering reminder that gifted public ministry does not guarantee private faithfulness or mutual support at home. While both the marriages of Wesley and Carey proved cautionary, the Spurgeons’ marriage serves as a beacon of hope that, by grace, genuine and joyful ministry partnership is possible. When realized, this partnership becomes its own blessing in navigating the trials of ministry.
One critical observation remains. Despite the book’s warm pastoral tone and practical insight, seasoned ministry practitioners will likely find it insufficiently engaged with contemporary research on clergy burnout, resilience, the politics of ministry, boundary setting, and conflict negotiation. Given the well-documented challenges facing pastors and their spouses in the present ministry climate, more extensive engagement with that scholarship would strengthen Smith’s effort and likely broaden its readership.
Nevertheless, “Together for Good” deserves commendation for its biblical encouragement, transparent honesty, and practical wisdom. At its heart lies the conviction that when married, ministry is a shared journey. For couples to thrive, they must be guided by biblical truth, depend on gospel resources, address obstacles straightforwardly, and extend tender, sacrificial care to one another. As Smith poignantly notes, the true measure of care is not our intention but our spouse’s experience of it. When both spouses embrace incarnational care, marriage becomes “a beautiful picture of mutual sacrifice” offered to the Lord.
Thomas C. Gibbs is the president of Covenant Theological Seminary.