Let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves (1 Pet. 3:4-5).
How strange – and significant – that the impulsive, quick-tempered, and pushy Apostle Peter would advise seeking to win a spouse to faith in Christ by “a gentle and quiet spirit.”
The apostle’s words remind us that God bestowed great dignity, value, and spiritual power on women who reflect the heart of their Savior. The world teaches that those who exert the most pressure from the highest position have the most influence. The gospel teaches that hearts are most influenced by us when Christ’s character is most evident in us.
Peter addresses women whose husbands are not believers. Such wives may think that verbal pressuring, emotional manipulation, or reasoned demands are best to convince a man to change – for his own good. The apostle, who had been such a hothead, instead urges holiness with trust in God.
Peter knew that showing Christ to others is far more effective than shoving Jesus on them. The more we try to leverage change, the less our spouses feel loved. The more we treat a spouse with respect – providing a gentle word, a non-combative spirit, and a beauty of heart – the more the Jesus in us is attractive.
A woman who would win her husband to Jesus is wiser in seeking to display her Savior than to control her husband. Show Jesus and let the Spirit sway the man.
Lord, help me to show my Savior and be willing to have your Spirit sway my loved one. Work through my humility and holiness to reach my spouse.