In my first year as a student at Covenant Seminary I was assigned to a cohort of fellow first-year students who met weekly, not as a study group, but as a kind of support group. Under the direction of a Covenant staff member we shared life stories, prayed regularly for one another, and struggled together as we adapted to all the changes graduate school in a new city can bring. The hope was that our training would not be a spiritually isolating endeavor. My cohort had such a good experience that we opted to continue meeting weekly until graduation. In the 10 years since we graduated we have tried to remain connected and meet in person at least once a year.
During our most recent gathering one of the topics we discussed was the troubling trend of pastors 10-20 years ahead of us leaving pastoral ministry decades before we would have expected. Pastors we have respected and learned from have left ministry for the sake of their personal and familial wellbeing. As I left our most recent gathering I wondered if we can all make it through the next decade without needing a break or a new career.
I am grateful that several months later I had the opportunity to attend Bent Tree’s annual Aspen Conference in Estes Park, Colorado. The gathering of pastors and their wives hosted by Bent Tree spanned a range of ages and ministry experiences. Seeing the example of veteran pastors who have been walking together for decades reminded me that what pastors need from one another is what has made my seminary cohort so influential for more than a decade: a safe place to share our stories, acknowledge our struggles in any particular season of life, pray for one another, and encourage one another in the gospel.
Many pastors find value in gathering for theological conferences, practical ministry training, and church business (i.e. presbytery and General Assembly). What Bent Tree offers to pastors is distinct from each of those and likely more vital to our ministry longevity than many of us realize.
Bent Tree doesn’t tempt attendees with well-known (even by PCA standards!) pastors “headlining” the event as speakers or workshop leaders. Instead, Bent Tree simply offers “normal” pastors and their wives the opportunity to minister to one another.
The busyness of pastoral life and the relational dynamics of a local church or even a presbytery can make it difficult for pastors to slow down and process their own lives, much less share them with others. Bent Tree removes pastors from that busyness for a few days and provides a distinct relational space for reflection and sharing through unhurried meals, unscheduled evenings, extended time in small groups, all led by fellow pastors who model the kind of relationships that we all need.
As difficult as it can be for pastors to slow down and have a safe place to process life and ministry, it may be even more challenging for pastors’ wives. They often bear many of the same stresses as their husbands in addition to family obligations, career responsibilities, and a uniquely isolating relational position in the church. It was a joy to see women who had never met, have no desire to attend General Assembly, and are geographically distant from other PCA pastors’ wives find common ground and care for one another in a matter of hours together.
Providentially, attending Bent Tree afforded my wife and I the opportunity to reconnect with two of our former pastors and their wives, deepen a relationship with another pastor from my presbytery and his wife, and also meet pastors who shepherd some dear friends who live in different cities.
The lagniappe of Bent Tree is that everything described above takes place in one of the most beautiful places in the country. The meeting location on the edge of Rocky Mountain National Park provides attendees with amazing views at every meal, worship time, and small group session. Moreover, the schedule of the conference allowed us to spend time exploring the National Park and strolling the quaint downtown of Estes Park. The weather was so ideal in early October that the big double doors of the dining area and main meeting room stayed open all day, and at every break attendees spilled out onto the porch and lawn in the front to soak up the warm sun and cool breeze.
And if the beauty of the natural surroundings was not enough, it seemed that everything that happened inside the meeting room had a unique beauty of its own as well. An amazing team created delicious meals that began with time singing together, followed by meaningful conversation and deep laughter. On the other side of the room from where we ate, we gathered to sing, pray, and hear fellow pastors share about their own suffering, God’s provision, and their enduring hope in the gospel.
I am incredibly grateful for the combination of factors that made just a few short days away uniquely rejuvenating. And I would commend the Bent Tree Aspen Conference to every pastor because every pastor I know needs the distinct types of rest and connection Bent Tree offers. But I would especially commend it to those pastors who realize that they are increasingly isolated and need examples of faithfulness to keep pressing on in the ordinary ministry to which God has called them.
Hace Cargo serves as assistant pastor of Ponce Church in Atlanta, Georgia.