Recently, a child in our congregation handed my husband a drawing after worship. “It’s of today’s sermon, Pastor,” she said.
The page was filled with speech bubbles and little illustrations. When he showed it to me, I smiled, imagining her glancing up at the pulpit, listening, and drawing again. In her own childlike way, she was engaged. Her little drawing wasn’t just art; it was attention, affection, belonging.
That simple picture reminded me that love for the church is often absorbed more than it is instructed. Children learn to cherish the people of God not only through teaching but through presence. Yet, presence, the very thing children need most, is exactly what many families struggle to maintain. We may desire to love the church, but our rhythms often reflect the cultural pull toward autonomy, convenience, and personalization.
Here are three things to keep in mind as you seek to raise church-loving children:
#1: It All Begins at Home
If we want our families to love what Jesus loves, our children need more than occasional or vague spiritual intentions. They need parents who delight in the gathered people of God. When we actively love and commit to our churches, by God’s grace, we model what it means to love Christ’s bride. Children learn far more from what we do than what we say.
There is no formula for producing love for Jesus or his church; only God changes hearts, and we must trust his perfect sovereignty with the spiritual vitality of our children. Yet, Scripture is clear that parents play the primary, formative role (Deuteronomy 6). Our responsibility is to show our kids what a life rooted in the church looks like, because to love Jesus is also to love his church.
While you can’t change your child’s heart, you can love Jesus with all your heart and talk about him at every opportunity the Lord provides.
In his book, “Handing Down the Faith,” sociologist Christian Smith notes that young adults who remain in the church typically had parents who were highly involved in the church, discussed faith naturally at home, and modeled what they taught. This matches what my husband and I have seen in our 25 years of ministry.
#2: Commit to Your Church
This may seem simplistic, but the most important aspect of cultivating a love for the church is being involved in the life of the church. Your commitment demonstrates what you truly value, and it teaches our kids significant life liturgies.
Consistency matters
We know consistency matters when it comes to sports, music, or academics, but we often forget that the same principle applies to the church. Regular worship and involvement shape our children’s understanding of what it means to love and serve Christ’s body.
Start early
For young mamas who wonder if it is worth wrangling babies and toddlers at home only to spend the worship service soothing and redirecting those same children, remember that even in these young, formative years, your presence at church is discipleship; your children absorb patterns and priorities through repetition and routine. Even in the seasons when sickness keeps you home, your children will notice that being with your church family is not just a duty, but a delight.
Your commitment will anchor them
As your kids grow, their feelings about the church are bound to fluctuate, and that fluctuation is normal, not a sign of failure. Your commitment will anchor them. Make worship a priority for your family and then find an area where you can serve and involve yourself (and your kids) and commit to it. Yes, that will require sacrifice, especially in busy seasons. But we make sacrifices all the time for things that matter to us and our family.
Acknowledge church hurt with compassion
Some families have experienced deep hurt within the church. If this has been your experience — or your child’s — know that the Lord sees your pain. As you seek restoration, remember that the answer to church wounds is not long-term withdrawal, but the pursuit of healing within the body Christ loves.
#3: Talk About Faith All Week
When our spirituality stays at church, then church attendance begins to feel like something to check off the spiritual “to-do” list. Integrating the church into the life of the family continues at home where we have ongoing conversations about what we’re learning and how we’re spiritually growing. Let these conversations flow naturally throughout the week. When your child resists going to church — and they may — listen well, empathize, and use those conversations as opportunities for honest discipleship.
We teach our children about the church in the way we talk about the church and the people in it. If church feels like a burdensome obligation, our kids will begin to emulate that attitude. If we’re regularly grumpy about people or negative about the ins and outs of the ministries, our kids quickly notice that disconnect. Be intentional about sharing what you’re learning from sermons or Bible studies and who you’re learning from. Ask the Lord to open your eyes to these teachable moments, and he will be faithful to provide them.
Cultivating a love for the church does not come from formulas or quick fixes. It comes from parents who genuinely love Christ and his people and who trust God to work in their children’s hearts. Just as that little girl absorbed love for the church as she listened and drew, our children are quietly taking in what we treasure. Our steady delight in the people of God becomes, over time, the picture they carry with them.
Katie Polski serves as the Director of Music Ministries and Special Events at Trinity Church in Kirkwood, Missouri, and writes for several Christian ministries and organizations. She is the author of “Beyond the Back Row: Rediscovering the Beauty of the Local Church for Your Family” and “You Are a Child of God.”