Valerie Falcioni and her husband did not immediately find a church home when they relocated to Palm Bay, Florida. As a result, Falcioni did not have many people outside her family to lean on when she was widowed.
Then Falcioni visited Covenant Church in Palm Bay. There she met Merri Jensen, who invited Falcioni to the church’s widows luncheon, a bimonthly gathering at the church. The luncheon was one of Falcioni’s first opportunities to meet new people, something she said she “desperately needed.”
“It felt like the Lord led me here to Covenant,” she said.
Covenant’s widow ministry began in 2015. At the time, Jensen and her husband drove an elderly widow to church each week, but Jensen began noticing other widows at their church and asked the pastoral staff how the church was meeting their needs. Covenant focused on meeting practical needs — trimming trees, installing hurricane shutters, handling small household repairs — but Jensen sensed these women might have other concerns that they were reluctant to voice.
“Widows are sometimes lonely for regular fellowship and desire care and notice from believers in their church body, outside of the weekly worship service,” she told byFaith.
She wrote up a proposal for Covenant to begin a more intentional widow ministry, with James 1:27 and 1 Timothy 5:16 anchoring her vision for the outreach. The ministry began with a list of a dozen widows and Jensen’s plan, which focused on fellowship through visiting each widow at home. Jensen shares Scripture with the women, talks and prays with them, and uses her gift of “noticing” to identify additional needs.
“They don’t like to ask for help, and they think that others need more help than they do,” she said. “So I just ask, ‘Could you use some help with this [chore]?’”
She relays any needs to the deacons, who help with simple household tasks like changing hard-to-reach light bulbs or cleaning gutters. Sometimes they help with larger tasks, too, like moving to a retirement center or connecting a widow with a deacon qualified to offer financial advice. Over the years, more volunteers have joined the ministry as well — the body of Christ is coming together to help one another.
Jerry Klemm, senior pastor at Covenant, appreciates that the idea for the widow ministry “didn’t come from the top down, but from a grassroots effort.” He describes it as “a holistic ministry. It meets social, emotional, and spiritual needs, and serves as an avenue to link physical needs with the mercy ministry of the diaconate.”
Not only does the ministry fulfill a scriptural mandate to care for widows, Klemm says, it’s also a “version of what Paul wrote about with older women teaching younger women, but in the reverse: younger women blessing older women and serving them in their hour of need.”
Other churches on Florida’s Space Coast offer grief-related ministries like GriefShare, but Jensen wanted to take a different approach. One of the most important aspects of the ministry at Covenant, Klemm says, “is the way they pick up the phone and talk to, pray with, and encourage these ladies. They’re friends, sisters in Christ. The women love the time together at the luncheons, but it’s the personal contact that pours water into their thirsty souls.”
Another vital aspect of Covenant’s widow ministry is remembrance. Those who are grieving mark significant dates as time passes: a loved one’s birthday, a wedding anniversary, the day a husband died. As life moves forward, it can feel to the grieving like the person they loved has been forgotten. Jensen keeps track of these dates and sends cards or another form of acknowledgment as an additional layer of care for the widows. The women deeply appreciate that someone else shares in remembering their husbands.
Since its inception over a decade ago, the widow group has grown, not because so many women have lost husbands in that time, but because the ministry is reaching more and more widows, showing them that they are not alone and the church has not forgotten them. The original mission remains the same, but now seven additional church members regularly help Jensen to serve over 45 widows at bimonthly luncheons.
At the December luncheon, round tables with red tablecloths, tiered trays, and tinsel centerpieces filled the large atrium foyer. Jensen and several other volunteers, all wearing festive aprons, set up a long table with small tagged gifts.
Longtime Covenant member Janey Goodrich, who, like Jensen, is an elder’s wife, gave the devotional at the recent February luncheon. Goodrich has played a role in the ministry from the beginning. She and Jensen planned the original gathering at her house to kickstart the ministry, and Goodrich has gladly served on the ministry committee ever since.
“It is such a privilege and a joy to be on the committee for this special ministry,” she said. “It’s a way for these ladies to feel honored and loved and respected.”
Just as the choice of speaker and topic are carefully chosen, even the smallest details for each luncheon are intentionally planned, with the goal of creating a welcoming atmosphere. Each luncheon has a theme, like Autumn or Travel, that ties together the food, decorations, and certain parts of the program, like an icebreaker question at each table.
Most of the events include singing, games, and sometimes an activity like card-making. Each ministry committee member serves as a table hostess to encourage friendly conversation and connection. If a new widow is attending, Jensen asks one of these volunteers to sit with her and make her feel welcome.
One year, Jensen invited some children and teens from the church to play Christmas songs on the piano during the luncheon. After they had finished, the students lingered and visited with the widows. The women enjoyed the music, but they also enjoyed the conversations.
“These are special events,” says Betsy Pastoor, a Covenant member who has been a widow for six years. “Some of us get dressed up because it looks like a party. It’s something to look forward to. It’s a light in our lives, even for those who are introverts.”
Though Pastoor lives far from the church and can no longer drive, volunteers make sure she can attend. “Merri makes sure that I have a ride,” she said. “She’s very concerned about that.”
Jensen also thinks it’s important for the ladies to take something home from their time together, whether it’s a yarn pumpkin decoration, a small potted plant, or a tin of desserts from a Christmas cookie exchange. She wants them to have a tangible reminder that they are loved.
Jensen plans to add a focus speaker to future luncheons, someone who briefly provides practical suggestions like recommendations for where to get a car fixed or make a will – some of the financial and legal issues that widows may have to handle after a husband’s death.
Besides the luncheons and home visitations, Jensen also makes a point to seek out the widows each Sunday, ensuring they feel noticed and seen.
“I try to talk to them as much as I can at church,” she says.
Falcioni is grateful for the relationships and support network the widow ministry has given her.
“At the beginning [after my husband’s death], I needed help with things, and everyone was so kind and gave me the help I needed,” she said. “Widows need to be plugged into something that provides a wide base of support.”
Falcioni appreciates the solidarity that comes from gathering with ladies who understand her position.
“It’s a comfort to know you’re not alone,” she says, “that there are others in my shoes and that people are willing to pray for us. It’s been wonderful — people willing to stand by your side and help you through this painful time. It’s an act of love.”