Like loneliness, fatherlessness has become a social epidemic. Roughly one in four children grow up without a father at home. Fatherlessness isn’t just a society problem; it’s a church problem too.
Columbus, Ohio-based Kingdom Dads is working to equip fathers to disciple their children and lead their families. Mike Mattes, executive director of Kingdom Dads and a ruling elder at Grace Central Church (PCA), hopes to bring fatherhood back to the forefront of Christianity.
Mattes, a father of three and a fourth-generation Christian, said Kingdom Dads grew out of a separate ministry in Ohio — Chip Weiant’s DadLab — that worked with dads at a local Christian school. Mattes was brought on as executive director almost two years ago, and they launched Kingdom Dads, working with dads in churches, schools, and workplaces.
Mattes said he was motivated to join the project when he saw “young dads not knowing how to intentionally engage in their calling as husbands and dads as their highest calls.” As a result they did not know how to disciple their children or love their wives as Christ loved the church. Mattes said the fathers he met “didn’t have the confidence and competence to disciple in the church or in the workplace.”
The ministry organizes small cohorts of dads to learn intentional practices alongside one another so that they can be equipped to love and lead their families. Mattes said that in doing so, dads also “grow in their confidence and competence to be disciple-makers, not only in the home, but in their church and in the community at large.”
Mattes told byFaith that Kingdom Dads equips fathers with gospel-centered theology and practices for home discipleship. Mattes said the cohort model helps fathers develop not only a shared vocabulary, but deep friendships that provide accountability, encouragement, and “exhortation in their marriages and in their families.” These friendships are vital in a society where technology has isolated men from one another.
Kingdom Dad cohorts consist of six to nine dads with a trained facilitator. The facilitator is either a Kingdom Dads alumni or someone who has been trained to lead the course. The cohorts meet for six sessions, though sometimes those sessions expand to seven or eight meetings, which take place biweekly or monthly.
Scripture study is a key part of Kingdom Dads cohorts, with the groups reading Deuteronomy 6:4-9 at every gathering. In addition to Scripture, the dads discuss articles and research “to help build and equip dads in how their communication matters, first and foremost,” Mattes said.
The first course is called Foundation Course and helps dads learn to communicate with God, their wives, and their children. The next step, built on that foundation of communication, is helping dads develop a vision and mission statement for their family and core values to orient their families around a shared mission, Mattes said.
Mattes believes many fathers want to be intentional with their families, but simply don’t know how to start. And while there are many strong podcasts, books, and articles that men can use to gain a better understanding of fatherhood, Mattes said “dads need to come together to work through and build this muscle together of their calling as husbands and calling as dads with other dads.”
In fact, Mattes said it’s biblical for a father to have a presence in his family. The Kingdom Dads director said it is “amazing that the one institution that is ordained pre-fall is marriage and is family, so it has a role to play.”
In the absence of clear guidance, many fathers shrink back from their roles as fathers, opting instead to focus on careers where success can seem more measurable.
“It’s easier to see goals reached, get praise, to get that higher salary,” he continued. “And that becomes their primary calling when I think it’s a myth if you put [your] vocational call above your calling as a husband and calling as a dad.”
Mattes said Kingdom Dads is addressing this problem by giving dads some confidence and some practical tools for modeling godliness. For example, dads are encouraged to develop a regular devotional life. Mattes said that could look like a dad reading his Bible in front of his child, reading Scripture with his child, and praying with his child.
“And as [your children] get older, do they see you in the Word? Do they see you reading the Bible? And do they see you and your wife in the Word together?”
Kingdom Dads encourages fathers to read through the whole Bible. The tools are out there, Mattes says, and utilizing them together with other men can have a positive impact on family culture.