When Robert Clark and Jana Cansler Clark swore to be faithful to each other in sickness and in health, they knew better than most brides and grooms what those words mean. Robert had cared for his first wife through early-onset Alzheimer’s; Jana had mourned her first husband after his sudden death.
But on October 5, 2024, with their children and grandchildren in attendance in Jana’s Dalton, Georgia back yard, they made the promises again. And that night they celebrated with a “throwdown” party with 300 friends and family members.
“(Jesus) really does turn mourning into dancing,” Jana said. “He can send two great loves in a lifetime, and it’s just so, so sweet.”
Robert and Jana’s wedding followed a 10-month courtship. But it also followed years of loss, heartache, surrender, and growth.
“The Lord had orchestrated it all, even though it felt like it might never happen,” Robert said. “It can seem like forever, but when he moves, it’s in a hurry.”
Jana lost her husband of 30 years in 2014, on the second day of their anniversary trip to Italy. She and Tommy had started dating as high school seniors; they raised three daughters together and were looking forward to the second half of their lives. After he died, “with the trauma and grief, literally my body fell apart,” she said.
She endured multiple hip replacement surgeries while learning to trust and rely on God through the pain. Jana’s marriage had figured so prominently into her life that she struggled to know who she was without Tommy. But the Lord taught her.
“I really discovered who I was apart from Tommy, who I was in Christ,” she said.
About eight years after Tommy died, Jana decided to “dip a toe” back into dating. She wasn’t looking for a dinner companion; she wanted a life partner. She made a list of qualifications, including a more superficial request: could her second husband have hair?
But the dating world had changed a lot since she was in high school, and she joked that the men she met wanted “either a purse or a nurse.”
Discouraged, she let go of the dream of a second marriage.
“I told the Lord, ‘If you want it to happen, you’ll make it happen, without my help,’” she said. She asked that if remarriage was not God’s plan for her life, that he would take away that desire.
Meanwhile, Robert was walking through his own suffering. His wife, Margaret, was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in 2013 at age 53. Their older son was in college, and their younger son in high school.
“It was a really long, hard struggle,” he said. Robert spent the next years trying to balance full-time work, Margaret’s care, and shepherding his sons through grief and sorrow.
“It was just brutal,” he said. “But I wouldn’t have had it any other way. It was an honor and privilege to serve her.”
Margaret died in October 2021. In the years after her death, he tried dating a little, but nothing really clicked.
Like Jana, he gave his desire for marriage to God.
“The Lord brought us to the same place at the same time,” he said.
It was late 2023 when he “half-jokingly” asked a couple of friends if they knew any single women. The friends immediately thought of Jana.
“I’m always up to make a new friend,” Jana said. So she and Robert texted a while, talked on the phone, then met for dinner in January 2024.
“And the rest is history,” Robert said.
For both Robert and Jana, establishing the other’s commitment to Christ was vital. When one of Jana’s first questions for Robert was “tell me about your faith journey,” he was relieved.
“The most important thing for both of us was our relationship with the Lord and our commitment to faith in him,” he said. “That has to be paramount: not just going to church, not just going through the motions, but it had to start with that.”
“I just immediately felt this peace around Robert. I could be myself,” Jana said. “We can laugh again.”
Oh – and he has hair. “Very pretty hair,” she said.
Even though both are mature adults, they sought out the counsel and encouragement of their family and friends.
“Whether you’re 16 or 60, it’s still the same: the butterflies, the fireworks, it can blind you a little,” Jana said. “You need to listen to your friends and to your family. A lot of times they can be better judges of character.”
As for that, her daughters warned her after meeting Robert: “Don’t mess this up, Mom!”
Robert and Jana were engaged just five months after that first date, and married in October of the same year. Married life is a little different for them. They divide their time, spending some nights in Dalton, where Jana and her daughters’ families live, and Lookout Mountain, Tennessee, where Robert lives and works at Southeastern Trust.
They attend Lookout Mountain Presbyterian Church, where Robert is a ruling elder, and Jana has also become a member. Robert also serves on the board of Geneva Benefits Group, where he leverages his experience as a senior portfolio manager to help oversee the retirement funds of those in ministry. It also allows him to advocate for widows through Geneva’s relief fund.
And while they are happy together, they know better than many how difficult life can be. By loving again, they know they’re opening themselves up to heartache again.
“It has been great, but you know life has a way of creating challenges and obstacles,” Robert said. “We’re married, and we’re all in. When something happens to one of us or our children, it’s all a part of us.”
That’s why who you marry is so important, Jana said.
“It sounds like everything is just a nice neat bow, cherry on top, but you know life’s not like that,” she said. “Life is hard, and you want to do life with that godly prayer warrior man who’s gonna be on his knees with you.”