Love is patient and kind …. It does not insist on its own way…. It does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth (I Cor. 13:4-6).

Early in our marriage, my wife, Kathy, and I agreed not to belittle one another in public, even though it was a common way our friends joked. 

Our agreement came after noticing how often these friends would use the protection of a public gathering to make embarrassing comments about a spouse’s habits, flaws, or foibles. 

Now don’t get me wrong, Kathy and I enjoy teasing one another, but we have learned that trying to correct or manipulate one another through public embarrassment, even in jest, isn’t helpful. Demeaning another for the sake of getting a laugh or gaining control is not a path to marital health.

Scripture is clear that we’re to exercise love and mutual respect toward our spouses. Our marriages should be places of mutual support – where we are secure enough to enjoy a tease and loving enough not to use it to mask manipulation.  

Mutual respect builds marriages. Teasing can make them fun. But public embarrassment, where the one teased cannot respond or defend without further embarrassment, is unfair. 

God’s grace flows through marriages where love does not seek its own way, does not rejoice in another’s discomfort, and teases for mutual fun not to embarrass anyone.  

Prayer:
Father, help me to express love and honor in the way I speak to and about my spouse. Help me to build up another in love, as you knit us together by your grace.