Churches are notoriously good at rallying around the acutely ill, but less so when tending to chronic, long-term needs, says Dr. Michael Emlet, a medical doctor and faculty member at the Christian Counseling and Educational Foundation (CCEF). “It’s more of a marathon than a sprint. You need an investment of resources for the long-term, and many churches are not set up for that.”

So what are the issues facing those with chronic illness? How can God redeem their pain? And how can the church learn to care for this unique group?

The first step is seeing the problem.

Moving Toward Pain

One of the most hurtful things Moore experienced after his accident was seeing church members walk in the other direction when they saw him coming.

“The church should be a place of comfort for those with chronic illness,” said Philip Yancey, author of Where Is God When It Hurts. “But we often become embarrassed when prayers go unanswered over time. It becomes an awkward situation, so we back away from the sufferer.” And many of those sufferers already feel that their illness is a mark against them — a sign that their faith is lacking.

At times, believers shy away because seeing another’s suffering confronts them with the disturbing reality of pain and death. “It brings out the truth that we are creatures, and that we are frail,” said Emlet. “We want to turn away from this, but if suffering is in the warp and woof of life, we need to acknowledge it. It ought to cultivate a profound dependence on Christ in all of us.”

In some cases, church members will approach the sufferer, but without awareness. “Part of our fleshly nature is to want a quick fix,” said Emlet, noting that some people try to give inappropriate or unwelcome advice, rather than simply listening.

And the problem of seeing and responding to sufferers is greatly multiplied by the “walking wounded” syndrome. “Chronic illness is often a hidden phenomenon,” said Emlet. “You don’t have a cast on your leg, and people can’t see your illness. That makes it a challenge for the sick person and the well person.” The chasm is further deepened when the sick are so entrenched in the medical aspects of their disease that they simply don’t view their church as a place to ask for help.

“There’s so much to be gained from connecting the suffering with the church,” said Deb Michaud, director of the caring ministry for Church of the Saviour in Wayne, Pa., and a sufferer of multiple sclerosis. “It’s important to show the sick that they’re not groaning alone.”

He Who Redeems

Over Anne Henegar’s desk there’s a worn wooden plaque that has hung there for the better part of a decade. The chipped wooden frame surrounds a quote from Hebrews written on tissue-thin paper: “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”

This 35-year-old pastor’s wife and mother of two looks at that plaque every day, seeking comfort and strength as she endures her 12-year battle with a number of debilitating autoimmune disorders: Chron’s disease, colitis, and celiac disease. She has never known adult life without them.

“I want to be normal, but I’m different,” she says. “Living with this disease is like life with the constant needs of a newborn infant, except that they never grow up.”

Yet Henegar counts herself blessed that God has been present through her suffering, and is redeeming her pain. She’s drawn heavily from the Psalms, particularly Psalm 41:3 and 18:19, “He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me.”

“Suffering is messy—it isn’t linear,” she says. “And it’s been a huge lesson to acknowledge my weakness and admit it to others. But I’m finding that I’m most in touch with God when I’m sharing my journey with others. Then I see that there’s purpose in my suffering.”

She notes that surrender has come in the process, reflected in a quote by Corrie Ten Boom: “This is the story God has given me—this is the story I must tell.”

Philip Yancey, in his book Where Is God When It Hurts, writes of a similar concept. “One of the most important things we can do for a suffering person is to restore a sense of meaning or significance to the experience. … We can ‘honor’ pain.”

Yancey notes a crucial turning point in this process. “The Bible consistently changes the questions we bring to the problem of pain. It rarely, or ambiguously, answers the backward-looking question ‘Why?’ Instead, it raises the very different, forward-looking question, ‘To what end?’ … It holds out hope for the future, that even suffering can be transformed or ‘redeemed.’”

And for the Christian, there is a purposeful link between one’s physical suffering and the sufferings of Christ. “‘Glory through weakness’ is a theme throughout the New Testament,” says Emlet. “Christians suffer in Christ, united with the one who has gone ahead of us in suffering.” He notes 2 Corinthians 1:5: “For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows.”

Scripture has much to say about suffering, says Emlet. “In Christ, there’s a connection between the sufferer’s day-to-day reality and the big story of the gospel. The Bible approaches suffering in a balanced way—we’re not called to be Stoics. God wants us to give voice to our pain, and the Psalms model how to do that. They speak volumes to what life is like on earth.”

Scripture also comforts those who fear that their suffering is evidence of God’s wrath. “It’s important to have a right view of God in this process,” says Mark Talbot, associate professor of philosophy at Wheaton College, and the author of the upcoming book Unexpected Gifts: Christian Suffering. “Suffering may be disciplining, but it’s never retributive punishment, because Christ took on that role for us when He died on the cross.”

Talbot suffered an accident 40 years ago that still causes pain and makes walking difficult at times. “I ask, ‘God, what would you have me learn from this today?’ I’ve learned that He can use it to be a great witness to others.”

The Gift of Pain

Deb Michaud knows firsthand that suffering can produce godly character. “I listen to and pray for people differently than I did before my MS, because now I’m now more aware of God’s presence.”

In her role as the director of her church’s caring ministry, she counsels many who are hurting emotionally as well as physically. “There is a woman in our congregation who is struggling with martial difficulties, and there is no resolution in sight. The lessons I’ve learned through physical suffering apply here. She’s been thankful for my willingness to sit with her in her uncertainty, and to consistently pursue a relationship with her even if her circumstances don’t change.”

For Michaud, the physical reality of her MS has enabled her to connect with the spiritual reality of God’s presence in a new way. “My MS has made me aware of my dependence on God. I’ve learned that He is closer than the pain.”

Though there is no guarantee that the crucible of suffering will bring a believer to deeper faith, Michael Emlet has witnessed the spiritual riches of chronic sufferers who are yielded to God. “There are cumulative blessings to those who suffer with chronic illness. You can see them growing in Christ-likeness. As they persevere, it’s humbling—you feel like you’re standing on holy ground when you’re around them.”

Yet it often takes time for this process to unfold. “There’s a growth curve to living with chronic illness,” says Emlet. “Depending on where they are in their journey determines how other-focused they’re able to be. When suffering is at its most intense, ministry to others may not happen. But that’s okay—there an ebb and flow to it.”

Anne Henegar continues to experience this ebb and flow. She’s experienced a progression she describes as “crash, then survival, then a new normal.” Today, she vacillates between actively fighting her disease and quietly resting in God’s provision. “Someone once told me, ‘It’s easier to fight Goliath than to walk through the valley of the shadow of death.’”

At the beginning of her journey she felt like God was keeping her on a tight leash. “With every new tidbit of health insight I had, and each incremental improvement, I felt like He added a link to my chain, though I was still on a leash.”

Her real insight came later. She realized, “I am on a leash, but the leash isn’t tied to a stake in the ground—it’s tied around God’s waist. And He’s reaching out to me, saying, ‘I love you, and I am with you.’”

One Church Reaches Out

Though many churches struggle to care for those with chronic illness, Deb Michaud’s congregation, Church of the Saviour, in Wayne, Pa., has taken proactive steps to minister to this group.

The 1,800-member church has offered three separate seminars on chronic pain and suffering in recent years, and after each one a weekly support group has formed for several months to minister to those with chronic illness. Some 40-50 people, including both sufferers and caregivers, have attended the larger meetings, and 10-15 attend the weekly sessions afterward—people struggling with everything from advanced arthritis to accident trauma to MS.

“Two professional counselors, who are volunteers, lead the discussion in those sessions,” said Michaud. “They know how to bring the gospel and light to this topic, by asking where people are in their suffering, encouraging them, and offering Scripture.”

Perhaps the most powerful part of the church support group has been the opportunity to meet others who understand firsthand the journey of physical suffering.

It was here, at the Church of the Saviour pain support group, that Vietnam vet Steve Moore finally reconnected with the church, and with God.

“At first I came just because I was curious,” said Moore. “But I’ve realized that it’s a safe place. I come and sit and listen to others share where they’re drawing their strength. It’s inspired me. Now I say, ‘Wow, I could do that.’ It’s moved me to want to pray and read the Bible.

“This group has been so soft and so gentle. I’ve been able to sit back and listen, just let the Lord speak to me.”

Melissa Morgan is an associate editor at byFaith.

How to Reach Out to Someone with Chronic Illness

1. Listen, listen, listen. “Don’t talk much,” says Philip Yancey. “Job’s friends sat in silence with him for seven days. But as soon as they opened their mouths, that’s when the trouble started.” And allow them to air their sorrow. “It’s possible to both lament and question in a faithful context,” says Michael Emlet. “It can be liberating for them to know that they don’t have to suffer in silence before God.”

2. Be physically present. “It means so much for you to take the time to visit,” says Deb Michaud. “Your presence is enormously comforting.”

3. Commit to the long haul. Don’t let the sufferer fall off your radar screen after their initial diagnosis. “Sustained care demonstrates your commitment to a person with a chronic disease,” says Michaud.

4. Find ways to laugh. “The friends who love me best draw me out of my suffering and help me to see the big picture,” says Anne Henegar. Mark Talbot agrees: “Encourage those who are ill to focus on other things, and to laugh. The church needs to show that there can be joy in the midst of tears.”

5. Pray beyond healing. “Of course it’s important to pray for healing,” says Henegar. “But it’s also important to pray for endurance, faith, and growth.” It’s also helpful to get elders involved in praying for those who suffer. “They’re our shepherds,” says Michaud. “And they can express God’s heart in a unique way.”

6. Consider starting a support group at your church. “We’ve seen much comfort and emotional healing for chronic illness sufferers through our church’s pain support group,” said Michaud. “There’s hope in seeing how God is helping others going through similar struggles.”


Philip Yancey on Pain

Author Philip Yancey has written extensively on pain over the last few decades, including his two books The Gift of Pain and Where Is God When It Hurts. Below is an interview with Yancey about his insight on chronic illness.

bF: Why is it important for the church to reach out to the chronically ill?

PY: I run into so many people wounded by the church by bad theology on this issue. That is extremely dangerous. The church should be a place of comfort for those with chronic illness.

bF: What are some of the barriers that keep people from reaching out to those with chronic illness?

PY: Well, we like to feel good, don’t we? We like to take a meal to the person, and hear them say, “Thank you so much.” But you may hit them on a day when they’re angry or depressed. And you won’t walk out feeling like a righteous Good Samaritan. But it is just as important for you to be there on those days, so they can vent, as on the good days. No one who suffers with chronic illness can be up every day.

bF: What was one of the most profound insights you learned from a chronic illness sufferer as you wrote your books?

PY: I spoke with a man with ALS (also known as Lou Gehrig’s disease), and his disease is progressive. He knew that his muscles were beginning to fail, and that he would be falling as a result of it. So he had to learn how to fall—how to tuck in his arms and hit the ground sideways and roll over. I thought, “Isn’t that true of all of us—we all need to how learn to die to ourselves, how to let go.”