Single Men: Missing In Action?
A 1986 issue of Newsweek magazine created an uproar when it predicted that a 40-year-old single woman was more likely to be killed by a terrorist than get married in her lifetime. Marking 20 years since that dire prediction, the magazine took another look at the states of unions this summer and concluded that the situation looks far brighter – and not just because of an increase in terror attacks. A “marriage crunch” did not materialize to the extent predicted, and Newsweek reports, “Today it appears that about 90 percent of baby boomer men and women either have married or will marry, a ratio that's well in line with historical averages.”
However, the story takes a different spin in evangelical circles. In a 2000 study, George Barna concluded that there are roughly 12 million more born-again women than born-again men in the U.S. Barna studies conducted in 2006 reveal what many of us have observed in our own churches—that women are more active in their faith than men:
However, the story takes a different spin in evangelical circles. In a 2000 study, George Barna concluded that there are roughly 12 million more born-again women than born-again men in the U.S. Barna studies conducted in 2006 reveal what many of us have observed in our own churches—that women are more active in their faith than men:
• 51 percent of women have read the Bible in the past week, compared to 42 percent of men who report reading the Bible in the past week.
• Women are more likely than are men to attend church on a given Sunday (50 percent to 44 percent, respectively).
• Women are more likely than men to attend a Sunday school class at church (27 percent to 21 percent) or to participate in a small group (26 percent to 20 percent).
• In general, women pray more often than men, with 89 percent of women versus 79 percent of men reporting that they have prayed in the past week.
Todd Hertz, in an excerpt from his book, The Unguide to Dating, says, “The biggest problem is that single men aren't in our churches. Frankly, I'm worried about my Christian brothers. Why are we less active in our faith?” Connally Gilliam, author of Revelations of a Single Woman: Loving the Life I Didn’t Expect, recounts a conversation with a church leader. “He compared the current cultural situation to the generation of single women who came of marriageable age in Britian following World War II,” she shares. “There was a whole generation of women who never got married because the men never showed up.”
Hertz suggests that the best approach for men is to focus on their individual faith. “Each of us men needs to focus on strengthening our walks, finding a mentor and/or protege, and becoming active in the local church,” he says. “An ideal side effect of this shift in focus would be that we set an example for other men, and perhaps help balance the gender picture in churches. But regardless... we men need to set a standard of living for God.”
As a thirtysomething single woman, Hertz's co-author, Camerin Courtney, feels personally invested in this issue. “I joke with Todd, my co-author, that because of his gender he's got a buffet of dating/mate choices spread out before him,” she notes. “I, on the other hand, lament with great drama [that] I am starving in the desert.” Her solution? “Pleading with our churches to target this missing demographic. And praying ... for revival among the single men of this world.” [See related article here.]
• Women are more likely than are men to attend church on a given Sunday (50 percent to 44 percent, respectively).
• Women are more likely than men to attend a Sunday school class at church (27 percent to 21 percent) or to participate in a small group (26 percent to 20 percent).
• In general, women pray more often than men, with 89 percent of women versus 79 percent of men reporting that they have prayed in the past week.
Todd Hertz, in an excerpt from his book, The Unguide to Dating, says, “The biggest problem is that single men aren't in our churches. Frankly, I'm worried about my Christian brothers. Why are we less active in our faith?” Connally Gilliam, author of Revelations of a Single Woman: Loving the Life I Didn’t Expect, recounts a conversation with a church leader. “He compared the current cultural situation to the generation of single women who came of marriageable age in Britian following World War II,” she shares. “There was a whole generation of women who never got married because the men never showed up.”
Hertz suggests that the best approach for men is to focus on their individual faith. “Each of us men needs to focus on strengthening our walks, finding a mentor and/or protege, and becoming active in the local church,” he says. “An ideal side effect of this shift in focus would be that we set an example for other men, and perhaps help balance the gender picture in churches. But regardless... we men need to set a standard of living for God.”
As a thirtysomething single woman, Hertz's co-author, Camerin Courtney, feels personally invested in this issue. “I joke with Todd, my co-author, that because of his gender he's got a buffet of dating/mate choices spread out before him,” she notes. “I, on the other hand, lament with great drama [that] I am starving in the desert.” Her solution? “Pleading with our churches to target this missing demographic. And praying ... for revival among the single men of this world.” [See related article here.]
Comments
J. Smith
Santa Clara, CA
There are no single men in churches because churches make themselves all about family (i.e. nuclear family). Christians are strangers in this world. Churches make of themselves to be more representative of the world than the actual world. A more concentrated dose of 'worldly.' Single men feel this the most. Look at the article: it speaks of 'eligible' singles. Wow, go to a church for spiritual nourishment and you are being sized up for 'eligibility' in marriage. Yeah, that's what the faith is all about...
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Eric
Cincinnati, Oh
My thoughts on the missing men. Honestly? If they aren't into God, why come to church? Not to be cynical. There are about approximately 3 eligible ladies in my BPC congregation of 300, and about 5 or 6 eligible men, including myself.
I imagine evangelization is lacking across the board. Good article tho.